Think Before You Start Thinking

When we make judgments or assumptions about other people, we don’t define them; instead, we only define and quantify ourselves – as self-righteous fools.

Grief and isolation are the consequences of judgement, which is an underlying illness of the soul. Assumptions present a particular challenge because ignorant people have a tendency to believe that they are true and accurate – regardless of how ridiculous they may be. Wisdom, truth, and assumptions generally do not walk hand in hand.

“Make it your priority in life to understand people’s circumstances before voicing your naive opinion or letting your assumptions overrule you.” – Gerard Egan.

At times, we can all succumb to presuming that the assumptions we make are undeniable truths – this is just part n’ and parcel of being a member of our imperfect human race.

The assumptions we arrive at become our windows to the world. Many people base their assumptions and world views on past hurts and rejections. If we don’t learn how to scrub our ‘windows’ clean now and again, our premises might end up getting in the way of us evaluating ourselves and other people fairly and accurately.

Being on the receiving end of other people’s, misled assumptions can be a dreadful thing to experience. We all experience this. If we want to win friends and influence people in any way whatsoever, we must learn how to view other people in the same way that we want to be regarded and interpreted. We will reap what we sow. This is a law.

One of the more reliable ways to restrain ourselves from making fallacious assumptions is to develop a habit of asking better questions about ourselves and other people. It is just wise to prioritise understanding before all other things. When we grow in knowledge, we can then grow in understanding. Without having an understanding of the facts, all we are left with are our opinions, ignorance and naive assumptions.

Without having an understanding of the facts, all we are left with are our opinions, ignorance and naive assumptions.

If we are to build secure connections with the people we have in our lives, we must acknowledge how interested we truthfully are in understand people. When we’re not aware of ourselves in this area, we can end up blindly surrendering to the sporadic ideas and automatic assumptions that infiltrate our minds. It’s significantly easier to make mindless assumptions about people than invest time into understanding them.

Many people wrongly assume that how they perceive matters is how they genuinely are (or how they should be). Our attitudes, behaviours and life results will arise out of these assumptions. A wise man once said, “If you want to evaluate the accuracy of another person’s eyesight, ensure you have first evaluated the accuracy of your own.” It’s common for people to judge others for the same imperfections they haven’t yet identified in themselves.

Regardless of how wise we view ourselves as being in life, it’s just sensible (and good relational practice) to commit to the process of becoming more aware of the thoughts we’re thinking about and the decisions we make about other people. When we become more aware of ourselves and how inaccurate our assumptions often are, we can resultantly become more effective at accurately evaluating other people.

Growing in self-awareness involves us developing a relationship with ourselves. To understand oneself is to examine oneself when interacting with another person. Secure relational connections are best built through the process of ongoing self-evaluation, realisation and revelation.

“Doubt yourself, and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself, and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.” – Nancy Lopez.

If we aspire to become confidently influential in other people’s lives, we must first ensure that we kill our opinionated nature so we can view ourselves and other people with greater clarity and accuracy.

Sometimes, when we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that our assumptions and preconceived notions are incorrect, and thus, our interpretation of events is wrong. Overreacting, taking things personally, or judging people unfairly is a consequence of making inaccurate assumptions – and none of these things serves relationships positively.

If you must judge a person, then ensure to do so by their intentions and not by their words or behaviours. To do this well will require you to become more of a fascinated inquirer and less of a narrow-minded judge.

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The main influencing factor that leaves countless people worldwide disempowered in their thinking & fruitless in their action-taking is a lack of personal responsibility. Responsibility proceeds all personal empowerment.