In our modern digital age, the diplomatic conversation is fast becoming a forgotten art. However, face-to-face communications are as essential as ever for our ongoing development and growth.
When we can engage in a thought-provoking conversation with relative ease, people not only see you as personable and friendly, but we may end up creating an enduring relationship that will serve us for decades.
To host diplomatic conversations and develop meaningful relationships, we have to begin somewhere. Every critical business transaction, every enjoyable friendship and every world movement started with healthy communication between two people.
It may seem like starting small talk happens more smoothly for some people than others, and it’s necessary to note that becoming a skilled conversationalist is a craft we develop over anything up to a lifetime.
There is no current mandate throughout much of Western society that teaches people how to interact with each other well. A healthy conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few robust discussions going on today: due to scarcity, two exceptional speakers scarcely meet.
The overall quality of our lives is usually reflective of the general health of our intimate and social relationships. All relationship problems exist in the lack of healthy and honest conversations.
If you aim to become a compelling conversationalist, strive to become an observant and attentive listener. If you want to be found interesting by other people, ensure you are first interested in people.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.“– Stephen Covey
The Selflessness of Dialogue
Many people initiate their discussions with others from a place of closeness and self-edifying monologue. Few people ever consider asking the kinds of questions that other people will naturally find engaging and enjoy answering.
Human beings genuinely aren’t difficult to connect with, as most people spend most of their time focussing on themselves, thinking about themselves, worrying about themselves and envisioning ways in which they can become more efficient in connecting meaningfully with other people.
Thus, we can readily assist this process by inviting people to talk about themselves, their goals and most significant accomplishments in life so far. Sadly, few people have significant others with whom they share their highs, lows, successes and failures. Two people don’t get to know each other through sourcing information about each other, but by working together through the process of resolving complex problems.
It’s a remarkable thing to be in the fellowship of people who are excellent conversationalists. When there’s a give and take dialogue going on, and two or more people are exploring an idea, examining it together, that is one of the most excellent ways to forge a meaningful connection with someone.
Not all discussions are authentic conversations, as genuine conversations elevate us in our thinking and help us grow in awareness of ourselves. A mature discussion will open our eyes to something new and like an MP3 on our headphones, keeps on replaying in our mind for days to come.
It’s useful to note that in all healthy discussions, listening is as essential an element of the conversation as what talking is. If you’re a great listener and not too confident a talker, fear not, people will likely compliment you more for being a good conversationalist who listens well.
The sign of a skilled conversationalist is not that a person is great at talking, but rather, can get others to open up and start talking.
Therefore, if you aspire to grow more effective in your relationships, endeavour to become a more meticulous listener and not a more excellent talker.