What Your Judgements Say About You

When we judge people, we do not define who they are, but rather, we define ourselves instead.

Judgement is a firmly rooted sickness of the soul with a consequence of isolation and grief. The dilemma with making assumptions is that we often believe them to be accurate and correct.
Assumptions and accuracy rarely walk hand in hand. At times, we can all succumb to presuming that the assumptions we make are undeniable truths – this is just part n’ parcel of being a member of our imperfect human race.
The assumptions we arrive to become our windows to the world. Many people base their assumptions and world views on past hurts and rejections. If we don’t learn how to scrub our ‘windows’ clean now and again, our judgements of ourselves and other people will become blurry and inaccurate.
Being on the receiving end of other people’s misled assumptions can be a dreadful thing to experience. But, if we want to win friends and influence people, we must learn how to view others with the level of respect we expect for ourselves.

How To Stop Being Judgemental

One of the more reliable ways to restrain ourselves from making fallacious assumptions is to develop a habit of asking better questions of ourselves and other people. It is wise to prioritise understanding before all other things. When we grow in knowledge, we can then grow in understanding. Without understanding, all we have are our opinions, ignorances and assumptions.
If we are to build secure connections with the people we have in our lives, we must acknowledge how devoted we are to the process of learning to understand people. When we’re not aware of ourselves in this area, we can end up blindly surrendering to the sporadic ideas and automatic assumptions that infiltrate our minds.
We commonly assume that how we perceive matters is the way they genuinely are (or the way that they should be). Our attitudes, behaviours and life outcomes will always arise out of these assumptions.
Regardless of how experienced we sense ourselves to be in life, we must dedicate ourselves to the process of becoming more aware of the observations we each make. When we become more aware of ourselves and how inaccurate our assumptions often are, we can become more effective at accurately evaluating other people.

The Influence of Self-Awareness

Growing in self-awareness involves us developing a relationship with ourselves. To understand oneself is to examine oneself when interacting with another person. Building secure relationships with people require a continuous process of self-evaluation, realisation and revelation.

“Doubt yourself, and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself, and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.”

– Nancy Lopez
If we aspire to become confidently influential in other people’s lives, we must first ensure that we kill our opinionated nature so we can view ourselves and other people with greater clarity and accuracy.
If you must judge a person, then ensure to do so by their intentions and not by their words or behaviours. To do this well will require you to become more of an inquirer and less of a judge.


Kain Ramsay
[email protected]

As an established teacher of personal and professional growth principles, and a champion of mental well-being, Kain Ramsay is regarded as one of the world’s foremost thought leaders of modern applied psychology.