Let us discuss the victim mentality and how victimisation plays a huge, determinantal role in how most people relate to themselves. This is a critical discussion which I intend to handle delicately. Today, as we know, ‘victim’ has become a politically loaded word.

People get angry when I tell them they can change their mental health. They tell me that they were born to be depressed, anxious or OCD. They tell me their PTSD can never be treated, that their childhood set them up to be depressed forever and that their anxiety attacks will never go away, no matter how much medication and treatment they get. 

There’s a pretty good chance you’re not the same person you were six months ago but you’re still living the same life you were two years ago. We expect ourselves to change but we’re terrified of changing our lifestyles in any way to match our growth. It’s time to stop saying ‘yes’ to the life you’ve outgrown and raise your standards of living. 

The secret to success lies in everything you’re avoiding. 
 
You won’t find success sitting on your sofa, binge-watching inspirational Youtube videos, or liking inspirational people’s posts on Instagram. It won’t strike in the middle of your consistent daily routine of five years, or randomly pop up in your email inbox one day as you sit at your desk. Your sofa may be comfortable, your relationships may be familiar, and your routine may be safe. Still, you won’t grow and achieve long-term success by avoiding what’s hard or even marginally tricky, both physically and emotionally.  

People who invest their money wisely are usually more successful than those who spend money carelessly. The same goes for people with time; those who invest their time are far more successful than those who spend it carelessly. However, the danger with spending time is forgetting that it cannot be refunded, earned or won on a Lottery ticket. Once it’s spent, it’s gone. 

Most of us find it easy to see value in others, but difficult to find value in ourselves. We chastise, belittle and abuse ourselves in ways we’d never dream of treating others. So why do we value ourselves so little and how can we learn to see our true value through our self-hatred.