We can imagine our ideal summer holiday next year; we can imagine ourselves looking incredible in a swimsuit, lounging around in the sun with a cool drink, surrounded by laughter. We can visualise ourselves looking our best and living our best lives. But if visualisation is so easy, why can’t the majority of us imagine our lives in ten, twenty or thirty years time? Why can we plan a holiday next year, but not plan for the rest of our lives?

Let us discuss the victim mentality and how victimisation plays a huge, determinantal role in how most people relate to themselves. This is a critical discussion which I intend to handle delicately. Today, as we know, ‘victim’ has become a politically loaded word.

People get angry when I tell them they can change their mental health. They tell me that they were born to be depressed, anxious or OCD. They tell me their PTSD can never be treated, that their childhood set them up to be depressed forever and that their anxiety attacks will never go away, no matter how much medication and treatment they get. 

There’s a pretty good chance you’re not the same person you were six months ago but you’re still living the same life you were two years ago. We expect ourselves to change but we’re terrified of changing our lifestyles in any way to match our growth. It’s time to stop saying ‘yes’ to the life you’ve outgrown and raise your standards of living. 

The secret to success lies in everything you’re avoiding. 
 
You won’t find success sitting on your sofa, binge-watching inspirational Youtube videos, or liking inspirational people’s posts on Instagram. It won’t strike in the middle of your consistent daily routine of five years, or randomly pop up in your email inbox one day as you sit at your desk. Your sofa may be comfortable, your relationships may be familiar, and your routine may be safe. Still, you won’t grow and achieve long-term success by avoiding what’s hard or even marginally tricky, both physically and emotionally.