A Few Practical Idea’s About Making Progress in Life..
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I found it hard to enjoy life before I became secure in my identity.
Little confidence, low self esteem and insecurity all go hand in hand. People who haven’t yet learned to accept who they are, tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with other people. Fact.
I spent years struggling to get along with people until I eventually realised how the difficulties I had with other people were rooted deep in the problems I had in accepting myself.
A wise man once suggested that “a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit”. Likewise, the ‘fruit’ in our lives grows directly from the ‘root’ that’s within us. If you’re grounded in anger, shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love, vengeance, etc. the fruit from your relationships will be a reflection of these things.
In took me until 2011, to grasp a real revelation about my true identity and who I am as a person. Historically, I would define myself by how I felt on a day-to-day basis, by my job title, by how others defined me, or by the group of people that I’d spend most of my time with.
Again, historically, none of the means by which I would identify myself were accurate enough for me to live an authentic lifestyle that offered any value to anyone else other than myself.
The revelation I gained about who I am, only came once I’d accepted the truth about who I wasn’t. I wasn’t a soldier – this was just something I did to earn a living. I wasn’t a criminal – I just made some mistakes in the younger years of my life. I wasn’t a social label, and I never would be a social label again.
Every day, I have the opportunity to be who I want to be. So I choose, to be honest, I decide to be generous, I opt to be creative, I choose to be integral, I choose to be transparent, I decide to grow and develop myself as a person so that I can become more. I am who I choose to be.
Once we have this revelation of who we are in life, and then accept it, we become free within ourselves, to be more honest, to be more generous, to be more creative, yo be more integral, to be more transparent and to continue to grow in value. For it’s these new roots that produce good fruit in our lives and our relationships.
To become confident in who you are, you must first accept the truth about who you are, because until you do, you will forever be blown around like a leaf in the wind, inconsistent in your ways, unreliable for others, and defined by the social labels that other people place on you.
Here are a few tips that I know will help you get better at ‘being’ yourself:
1. Manage the thoughts that you have about yourself.
Just because a thought enters your mind – doesn’t mean that you have to accept it. Such as, “I never do anything right.” “I’ll never change.” “I’m ugly.” “I look terrible.” “I’m dumb.” “No-one loves me.” If you can become aware of the thoughts that pass through your mind, you can manage them – and if one of these thoughts isn’t valid, don’t validate it!
2. Don’t waste your time comparing yourself to others.
You’ll never succeed at being yourself if you’re trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your own unique and individual personality. You aren’t anyone else, you are you, so just be you!
3. Focus on your potential instead of your past.
I spent five years of my life, beating myself up due to the mistakes that I’d made. I wouldn’t apply for jobs because I knew that most employers don’t look favourably on those with a criminal record. So, I studied my arse off, mastered my craft, went self-employed, build an online empire, and made more money that what any employer could ever have afforded to pay me. Simple as that. Focus on your potential instead of your past – because everything is possible!
4. Find something you like to do that you also do well, and do it over and over.
A wise man once said that ‘Repetition is the mother of all skill’. If you spend your time doing things that you’re particularly not good at, you’ll end up frustrated, disheartened, defeated and unsuccessful. Commit your time towards doing what you’re naturally good at, and what you also typically enjoy. (If you don’t know what this is, Click Here and download my Free Workbook: How To Find Your Passion & Purpose in Life.)
5. Be different and deal with criticism well.
If you dare to step out and be different, it’s only natural that you’ll receive some criticism. Most people are cowards, and will refuse to act or behave in a way that isn’t socially acceptable, fashionable or approved of by others. Going one way when you know you’re meant to be going the other way is one reason people fail miserably at being who they are. Take a risk, take a chance and follow the courage of your convictions. No one else in this world has a better plan for your future that what you do.
6. Don’t accept the social labels that other people place on you.
You are the expert of your life, and everyone else is the expert of theirs. No-one else in the world know’s what’s best for you, other than you! When other people try to advise you, or even judge you unfairly, these assumptions are based solely on their ignorance, and never on the truth of who you are.
7. Keep your flaws in perspective.
People with high levels of confidence have just as many imperfections as what people with little confidence do. It’s just that confident people will usually spend more time focussing on their strengths than on their weaknesses. I’m not perfect; you’re not perfect, and neither is anyone else, so if anyone ever has a go at you for being imperfect – find peace in the knowledge of their naive hypocrisy and ignorance.
It’s important to know that regardless of whether people like you, hate you, love you or loathe you, no one in this world can add anything to you, or take anything away from who you are. You just are.
This is the truth that we can build unshakable confidence upon. Other people will always have opinions – this is human nature. But opinions are different from truth, and this truth will set you free.
Build and base your confidence in life upon the truth of who you are, not on how you feel or what other people think of you. Keep your flaws in perspective, because this is what’ll keep us humble – acknowledging how imperfect we are while on route to becoming better versions of ourself.
Become secure in the truth of who you are; because this is the journey of self-discovery that all the guru’s talk about – and this journey is one can only be taken alone.
I found it hard to enjoy life before I became secure in my identity. No foundation is strong enough to sustain us in life, other than the foundational truth of who we are.
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Also, you might find my other Free resources helpful? Why not have a look…