Maturity doesn’t come with age; but with a persons willingness to take responsibility for every decision they make.
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Character traits are the aspects of a person’s behaviour and attitudes that make up that person’s personality. We all have character traits, some good and some bad.
When it comes to developing healthy and meaningful relationships, while it’s possible to be temporarily satisfied with someone’s physical appearance, their bank balance, position, social status or material wealth, real people want to be with real people.
Maturity is the character trait that separates grown up’s from emotionally unstable (and immature) infants. While many people assign maturity to an individuals age, it’s important to understand that growing in age isn’t the same thing as growing in maturity.
Edwin Louis Cole once suggested, “Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of choice.” He couldn’t have been more accurate.
While it’s easy to excuse the immaturity of a five-year-old child in a sweet shop, it’s not so easy to excuse the immaturity of a 41-year-old in the context of marriage. Many grown-ups act and behave like children and vice versa.
We all have bad days and sometimes, we’re all capable of having the occasional temper tantrum. Sometimes, we feel bored, fed up and find ourselves in need of some sporadic excitement. Unfortunately, though, for some people, these things can place blocks in the way of healthy and meaningful relationships.
You might be surprised to learn that maturity has little to do with how old a person is or what profession they commit to, but has more to do with how willing they are to assume complete responsibility for their actions, their behaviours, their motives, manipulative efforts and emotional inconsistencies. If that makes sense?
Have you ever encountered a child in a toy shop? Have you ever seen how they react to mum or dad whey they get told that they can’t have everything that they want? That’s right, if there aren’t immediate tears and screams, there will most likely be sulking or some expression or temper tantrum.
Immature children become upset and offended when they are faced with the truth that they cannot have everything that they want in life.
Now, Fast forward twenty-five years. A five-year-old girl is now a thirty-year-old woman, who loses her temper when her husband doesn’t treat her in the way she wants to be treated. Or, the six-year-old boy has now become a thirty-one-year-old man who feels sad because he did not get offered the job he wanted.
As fully grown adults, the thirty-year-old woman visits a therapist on a regular basis to help her understand her autism/ anger problems. The thirty-one-year-old man frequently visits the doctor for a repeat prescription of medication to deal with his depression.
When we put emotional immaturity like this, it’s easier to recognise patterns of childish behaviour from fully grown adults who have refused to take responsibility for their emotional inconsistencies in life. For most people, it’s easier to assign childish behaviour to modern societies social labels such as depression, autism, etc.
Maturity doesn’t come with age; it begins with an individual’s willingness to accept full responsibility for every area of their life, and also for every decision that they make.
Men. Women. Young. Old. Black. White. Gay. Straight. Religious. Political. Regardless of behavioural preference, we are all the same on the same journey of maturation in life – it’s just that some of us travel at a faster speed than others.
Regardless of what you may currently believe, we don’t begin to mature in life until we accept full responsibility for our words, our actions, our attitudes, our sexual preferences, our emotional inconsistencies and our attitudes. Whether mature or immature!
A seventy-year-old man who in unprepared to take responsibility for his attitude is less mature than a seventeen-year-old who does. And in the same way, a seventeen-year-old man who in unprepared to take responsibility for his attitude is less mature than a seventy-year-old who does.
I spent most of my 20’s, looking for someone who would mentor me and I could hold myself accountable to for my unpredictable behaviour and emotional immaturity (even though I wouldn’t have defined it like this back then). I wanted someone to step into my life and take full responsibility for me. This guy never showed up.
It wasn’t until entering my 30’s, that I realised, people who hold themselves to account tend to grow up intentionally and in a hurry, to break away from childhood and the immaturity of character that accompanies it. Some people choose to grow. Some people don’t.
Micheal Jordan once said, “I’m not out there sweating for three hours every day just to find out what it feels like to sweat. I’m out there every day looking to outperform myself. In life, we have competition every day wen we set such high standards for ourselves that we have to get out every day and live up to that.”
Those are some words from a man who took full responsibility for his life, his attitude, his actions and his beliefs. Those are the words of a man who has achieved great things with his life.
People who take responsibility for themselves grow up in a hurry because they choose to. Childish behaviour, fear and indecisiveness are highly unattractive to mature and balanced adults – especially when these attitudes are coming from other fully grown adults!
Responsible people are mature people. They expect more from themselves than what anyone else ever could expect from them. Responsible people make less avoidable mistakes; they get shit done, and will influence other people in a positive way through their willingness to lead a life by example. Responsible people will ensure that their actions are a direct reflection of their words.
Responsible people are the grown-ups in the room, undefined by age, and undefined by status. Responsible people gain the respect and admiration of others for contrasting the perpetual ‘Peter Pans’ in the room who refuse to take responsibility for anything else than the clothes that they wear.
So, if you want a few tips for becoming a mature and responsible adult, regardless of your age: take full responsibility for every word that comes from your mouth. Take every thought that enters your mind captive, and if any of these thoughts are inaccurate or invalid, don’t validate them.
Assume responsibility for your attitude, your feelings, your emotional inconsistencies and also for your attitude. Your life is your responsibility.
If you screw up at times, which you will, don’t blame your parents, your partner, your coworkers and don’t blame your boss. Don’t blame society, the government, religion and please leave God out of it!
Don’t blame your friends and don’t blame your family. But look in the mirror, and blame whoever it is that looks back at you.
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Also, you might find my other Free resources helpful? Why not have a look…